goodbye my sweet suni ...

my sweet, precious suni went to be with the Lord last night (wed.) just after 8:00 p.m.  i'm completely devastated and lost without her.

she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure (enlarged heart) at the end of last summer and had been on heart and lung medication up until now.  the medication worked wonderfully in the beginning as it curbed her coughing and breathing attacks, but it didn't take them away completely.  it merely cut down on the frequency of them.  sadly, there is no cure for an enlarged heart apart from a heart transplant - which isn't being done in animals.  i wouldn't have put her through such a thing had it been available anyway.

after her diagnosis, her veterinarian, dr. dickie, didn't think she'd make it to thanksgiving let along christmas - oh how she prove him wrong.  she was fighter until the end (that's my boopy!).  her health was never 100% after being diagnosed, but it remained quite well up until the last few months.  that's when her coughing/breathing attacks came more frequently and for longer durations.  it, progressively, took her longer to recover from each episode.  it broke my heart watching her gasping for air while just trying to do something simple like play with her favorite toys (plush froggy and ping pong balls).  she never let it stop her though.  she played until she was too tired to.  she had such a beautiful, tenacious spirit.

it wasn't until the past month that we noticed a decline in her health.  her coughing became stronger and she just had this sad look in her eyes all the time.  she still had her moments where that spark would return and she'd act like the pup she used to be and ran around and played.  the majority of the time though she was tired and that light in her eyes seem to have faded.  the past three days is when she stopped eating.  nothing could tempt her, not even her most favorite human foods.  and with her not eating, we were unable to give her her medication - the medication that was more or less keeping her alive.

yesterday her breathing had become very labored and i think we all knew she was tired and couldn't go on any longer.  she kept giving us this sad, scared, "help me" look which made my heart ache to the core.  my mom and i had been crying since monday as we saw this day coming.  we just couldn't let go.  we didn't want her to go.

we took her to the same emergency pet hospital she had been prior.  before leaving the house, we struggled with the decision of whether we were going to prolong her life a few weeks more with more drugs (if possible) or let her go.  we all knew what we had to do, what would be fair to suni and in her best interest .. just none of us could make that decision.  we decided we'd see what the doctors said first before deciding on anything.

upon arrival, the doctor said she was listed at being in critical condition.  her lungs were filled with fluid due to her weak heart.  she was given medication to help drain the fluids and was put on oxygen.  the doctor then gave us a rundown on options of medication we could try to maybe extend her life for a week, possibly a month, as well at the option of euthanasia.  she felt in suni's case that it would be a humane decision.  after some time alone in the room and prayer, we made the decision to let her go.  as much as we all wanted her to stay, we had to think of her and what was best for her since she couldn't make the decision herself.  i loved her too much to put her through anymore. 

she sat on my lap while we prayed over her asking God to take her into His arms and keep her safe until we were all reunited one day.  we all gave her kisses, told her how much we loved her, and she died in my arms.  as she took her last breath, she snuggled her snout in between my body and arm.  just like she always did as a baby.  as devastating as it was, a sense of peace and relief came over me when i saw that she was no longer struggling to stay alive for our sake.  she looked so at peace and she could finally rest - something that alluded her for months.  my baby is now pain free and happy running in fields and playing with sweet ava.  i know ava will take good care of suni until my time comes to join them.

suni was such a sweet dog.  she had the sweetest, most kindest temperament of any animal i've ever known.  she was a girly girl who was polite and funny and had this over-abundance of love that exuded from her.  she was my companion, my best friend, and taught me more than anyone about what love is and what is important in this life.  she showed nothing but unconditional love at all times and i'll miss those almond eyes and her never ending kisses and her riding on my lap with me everywhere.  God's unconditional love was shown through my precious, boopy, and i thank Him for blessing me with the honor of being her caregiver while she was here on earth. 

thank you for being such a sweet, loving companion, suni! 
you'll always be in my heart!  i love you forever, my sweet girl!